Dudes. I am here on business. “But you live in Dallas, Stoney. Why is it such a big deal to be in Fort Worth?”
I WILL TELL YOU.
FIrst, the roads are colossally fucked, so why drive to Dallas only to sleep for less than 4 hours? Stupid.
It is 12:04am on what is technically a FrIday morning. I have spent my entire day in a 55-degree room. I ate lunch at 1pm. I AM STARVING. After arriving at my hotel that rhymes with something like “Sheridan” I am not only confronted with the bar having last call at 11:45, but more importantly and discovered after the fact, ALL THINGS IN TOWN STOP DELIVERY AT MIDNIGHT.
areeeeeeee you kidddddddding meeeeeeeee
I am very hungry and tired and cold. God bless the lobby, from which I extruded a turkey wrap after calling every pizza joint in town.
NEVER AGAIN, FORT WORTH!!! I will bring snax next time.
love,
IAMCOLDANDHUNGRUANDWORKINGONTHEWEEKENDSUCKADICK
