Here Are Some Things I Have Not Done During the Pandemic.

 “Be creative.”  I would argue that my creativity for handling a crushing mountain of fucked-upness is the extent to which my brain can go.  I have not written much, I have not started large projects, I have not built anything, I… I got plants.  That’s as creative as it’s getting around here. “Listen to music!”  Weirdly, you would think this would be a solace.  It … Continue reading Here Are Some Things I Have Not Done During the Pandemic.

Hubris

Yesterday I wanted to try a pizza place with my husband for dinner.  We ventured out into the slightly over-warm San Diego early evening, with the sun setting directly in front of me all the way there.  I was already nervous while driving, because I knew this joint was in a neighborhood that was notorious for having little to no parking.  It was a short … Continue reading Hubris

I Should Write More

I have six unfinished drafts in my “Drafts” section, all with titles but like, one sentence.  So it has become clear to me that I should just start writing stuff, see what happens, NOTHING CAN GO WRONG, RIGHT?  I mean, I’m sure someone out there wants to read about my cats and my patio filled with mostly dead plants and “marine layer” grunge and the … Continue reading I Should Write More

Decidedly Not Dead

I have started this post about 20 times in my mind.  The original effort keeps coming off as snarky, shitty even – and worse yet, I managed to once again get real comfy with doing what I do best:  Belittle myself and all the trappings that come with that.  Make light of my accomplishments.  Poo-poo my struggles.  Minimize my insecurities and my vulnerability. To which … Continue reading Decidedly Not Dead

Down With My Demons – Or Getting There

Did you see that woman? Rolling down your street, full gear on, helmet and everything, Bambi legs, sweating, and possibly looking a little (alright, A LOT) out of place?  Wow.  What the fuck does she thing she’s doing?  Look at her. That’s right, take a gander.  That was me.  6:48 yesterday evening.  Technically 6:57, because the first 9 minutes were spent standing casually on my … Continue reading Down With My Demons – Or Getting There

Dear Target Lady

You are always there.  You look like my friend’s mom.  You don’t seem overly jubilant, which I totally get.  However: You always talk to me.  You always ask or comment about something I’ve bought.  We chat.  You are not crazy.  In fact, the old me would write about how annoying you are and how I am in a hurry dammit and cut the small talk, … Continue reading Dear Target Lady

LISTEN UP VEGETARIANS: This Casserole is Your Holy Grail

Tori Amos’ brilliant Boys for Pele is 20 years old this month.  Which means a few things:  I’ve spent a lot of time trying to verify the truth of whether or not the pope indeed has a rubber robe, and I’m really fucking old.  It seems like a lifetime ago.  I lived in another state.  I had a different everything.  But this album holds up. … Continue reading LISTEN UP VEGETARIANS: This Casserole is Your Holy Grail