A 4:45am alarm, an hour-long drive, a hastily eaten $17 breakfast sandwich at PHL and a stuffed-to-the-gills gate is prelude to what will be a 6 hour flight. I might as well be flying to the UK, it’s so far. Sometimes it’s hard to fathom that we drove from one coast to another, literally, in 6 days. Five? I can’t remember now. I’ve asked the gate agents if there are … Continue reading On the Come Up
“Be creative.” I would argue that my creativity for handling a crushing mountain of fucked-upness is the extent to which my brain can go. I have not written much, I have not started large projects, I have not built anything, I… I got plants. That’s as creative as it’s getting around here. “Listen to music!” Weirdly, you would think this would be a solace. It … Continue reading Here Are Some Things I Have Not Done During the Pandemic.
Yesterday I wanted to try a pizza place with my husband for dinner. We ventured out into the slightly over-warm San Diego early evening, with the sun setting directly in front of me all the way there. I was already nervous while driving, because I knew this joint was in a neighborhood that was notorious for having little to no parking. It was a short … Continue reading Hubris
I have six unfinished drafts in my “Drafts” section, all with titles but like, one sentence. So it has become clear to me that I should just start writing stuff, see what happens, NOTHING CAN GO WRONG, RIGHT? I mean, I’m sure someone out there wants to read about my cats and my patio filled with mostly dead plants and “marine layer” grunge and the … Continue reading I Should Write More
See?? It’s not even a week later and I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. A combination of things must have happened: Hormones less crazy. I stopped giving so much of a fuck. Or I gave different fucks. Not sure. The sun came out. Either way, I’m singing songs and laughing and sleeping. I realize that some of what I am doing at work is pretty futile … Continue reading Menopause is Real I Think
I have started this post about 20 times in my mind. The original effort keeps coming off as snarky, shitty even – and worse yet, I managed to once again get real comfy with doing what I do best: Belittle myself and all the trappings that come with that. Make light of my accomplishments. Poo-poo my struggles. Minimize my insecurities and my vulnerability. To which … Continue reading Decidedly Not Dead
Yeah. I used to say this. I used to say it a lot. I used to wear this phrase like a badge of fucking honor. But it never was really all that true. What the phrase should really be is “I am scared of myself. I am scared of my own power. I do not want to look in a mirror and see all the … Continue reading “I Don’t Get Along with Women”
When they told us that we might be able to get our copies of The Audacity of Hope signed at a rally in Dallas in late 2007, we knew that there were a host of long shots involved. We all piled up our books with sticky notes inside them with our names, and then went on to do the work of the volunteer: Hand out … Continue reading Thank You, Human Person
Did you see that woman? Rolling down your street, full gear on, helmet and everything, Bambi legs, sweating, and possibly looking a little (alright, A LOT) out of place? Wow. What the fuck does she thing she’s doing? Look at her. That’s right, take a gander. That was me. 6:48 yesterday evening. Technically 6:57, because the first 9 minutes were spent standing casually on my … Continue reading Down With My Demons – Or Getting There
You are always there. You look like my friend’s mom. You don’t seem overly jubilant, which I totally get. However: You always talk to me. You always ask or comment about something I’ve bought. We chat. You are not crazy. In fact, the old me would write about how annoying you are and how I am in a hurry dammit and cut the small talk, … Continue reading Dear Target Lady
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