Originally written and posted for this awesome site right here. Buy some tiny shiny hiney shorts. These girls know about booty. When contemplating what to serve gentleman callers, you can offer many refreshing choices – bougie mixed drinks, plebeian beers, or the ever-popular yet completely monotonous water. What that guy sitting on the couch waiting to fondle you really wants, besides your boobies, is a beverage that … Continue reading Wine Me, Dine Me…But Really, Start with Wine
Yeah, White Russians cause one to make lists. Here’s what I learned while on my second one while watching Alien for the 40th time. 5. Anyone called a “science officer” is most likely out to fuck you over. 4. Calling a computer “Mother” is creepy x 10000. 3. When 2 females are on a refinery space plant together, one is dumb and must die. 2. … Continue reading Life Lessons: Alien Edition
I might not be McSweeney’s, but I can damn well talk about things that we all buy that are dumb, dumb, dumb. You know you have bought something, you get it home and either start reading the package or start using it and think “OMGWTFBBQ.” Clearly there are many industries in trouble, and cannot hire writers of even my mediocre caliber to write descriptions for … Continue reading Let’s Review Some Stupid Products
So my husband is a giant fan of Your Mom’s House, an awesome podcast by two comedians who are married to each other. He started texting me like a crazy person the other day and couldn’t wait for me to listen to Christina Pazsitzky’s Ode to Goth. I did, and I was touched by my dude’s ability to realize that other people sharing their SuperSadGothLove would … Continue reading Swinging the Heartache: You’ll Dance to Anything
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