Life Lessons: Alien Edition

Yeah, White Russians cause one to make lists. Here’s what I learned while on my second one while watching Alien for the 40th time.

5. Anyone called a “science officer” is most likely out to fuck you over.

4. Calling a computer “Mother” is creepy x 10000.

3. When 2 females are on a refinery space plant together, one is dumb and must die.

2. If you don’t follow quarantine procedures, shit will end up eating through your hull and killing your crew.


1. I love cats, but fuck a bunch of Jonesy.

The end.

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