Month: December 2011

Laugh

Holiday Advice: Pump the Brakes on Assholery

One might say I’m biased because my birthday is today, Christmas Eve, and it’s always been less “pleasure and joy” and more “unnngghhh must finish Christmas shopping ON MY BIRTHDAY.”  Whatever my general holiday malaise stems from, surely I’m not the only person who notices that people invariably become even bigger asshats during the holidays, what with rushing around, cutting you off on the freeway, … Continue reading Holiday Advice: Pump the Brakes on Assholery

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Laugh

Good Morning, Please Stop Talking

Yes.  I am an asshole. From the hours of 6am (or earlier when necessary) to about 10am, I am a complete dick.  Really doesn’t matter what has happened, how I’ve slept, what I ate the night before, Nothing.  Matters.  At.  All.  I’ve tried and tried, and it’s like an unattainable floaty thing out of my grasp, to act like a decent human being in those … Continue reading Good Morning, Please Stop Talking

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Laugh

Resolutions 2012: F*ck It, I Choose Reality

Ok, sure, let’s talk about all the shit you THINK you might stop in 2012, or start in 2012, or that you would like to accomplish, whatever.  We can talk about it.  It’s not going to make it real or make those temptations stop riding in on the backs of beautiful imaginary talking Clydesdales.  “Why, hellloo there, my child!”  (note:  Clydesdales have voices like God.) … Continue reading Resolutions 2012: F*ck It, I Choose Reality

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Drink

White Russians: You Too Can Make This Delicious Shit

Crossposted and originally written for http://hexchromosome.tumblr.com/ Buy their rad, kick-ass activewear at http://www.hexchromosome.com/ On the surface, you would think that sippin’ on a White Russian goes great with fireplaces, Yule tidings, and about 4 feet of snow on the ground. My friends, I am here to tell you that a White Russian goes great with fucking EVERYTHING. Winter, Summer, Spring or Fall, it’s like a damn grown-ass milkshake, all for … Continue reading White Russians: You Too Can Make This Delicious Shit

Shawn1 Comment