The New Year’s Eve Post, Positivity Version
Apparently sometimes I skip a year. Continue reading The New Year’s Eve Post, Positivity Version
Category: Cry
Thanks Mom
Parents are tricky, complicated, and there are millions out there who do not engender those feelings in their offspring, but there are also millions more who do. They leave those unsolved Rubik’s Cube feelings up to us to navigate, in life and in death. Continue reading Thanks Mom
Isn’t That the Way They Say it Goes
And in the words of Mr. Croce, I wish I could call to tell them I’m fine. I only wish my words could just convince myself. Continue reading Isn’t That the Way They Say it Goes
Here’s Where the Story Ends
I really hate that feeling when a memory comes back and yet you have to pivot your love for that memory immediately to melancholy because you know you’ll never have those times with that person ever again. Continue reading Here’s Where the Story Ends
Me Time
I had a thought tonight as I was bittersweetly celebrating my newfound lack of responsibilities: Do we ever lose the feeling of disappointing our parents? Continue reading Me Time
Feels So Different
Shuhada’ Sadaqat was what she preferred. But I think we all knew the young woman who was Sinéad O’Connor better. At least I did. I was seventeen when The Lion and the Cobra came out, and you can imagine what seventeen-year-old me – in love with being heartbroken, screamy on the inside, and hopelessly devoted to anything that was slightly alternative – thought of this … Continue reading Feels So Different
Here is the House
It’s the last night in this house, Shirley Ann Place, the house with my mother’s name, the tiny house in which we fell apart all the way and broke in a million pieces and slowly put ourselves back together again like a vase that was meant to be broken. We cried and screamed and had sex and the neighbors heard all. Trash being taken out … Continue reading Here is the House
Maximum Effort
What kind of bullshit math equation is gun + gun = life? What kind of even bullshittier math equation is no/not great job = no health care = death? Continue reading Maximum Effort
Just Under the Wire
7 minutes to go and I have never felt more lost. New year, same me, same mess, same mistakes. Have I grown at all? Regressed? This isn’t really even a post – the blank screen has not been big enough in the latter part of 2021 to contain all my emotion. 5 minutes to go. Time is a construct. We make it up. All there … Continue reading Just Under the Wire
Nothingness, Then All at Once
My mother died a week ago today. I wrote this on the plane coming back home after being with her for her last 10 days in this life. I don’t know why this time the patterns at 36,000 feet below me are so comforting. It’s like I’ve never even noticed them before. The trees that partition off crops like rivers, the strange dirt tributaries that … Continue reading Nothingness, Then All at Once
Pocketful of Venom 
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