FULL-ON FALL, That’s What’s Happening

I am sitting here in flannel pajama pants and a long-sleeved thermal shirt while I bake a loaf of bread.  BECAUSE IT’S THE GREATEST SEASON OF ALL.  It was 92 degrees today, but who’s counting.  Call me a basic bitch or whatever you want, but I stand proudly by my love of All Things Pumpkin and the crackle of fires and really any reason to be in a kitchen making things and putting those things in jars or my mouf, whatever happens first.

Fall, motherfuckers.  There’s no other season.  It could be Permanent Fall and I would never be happier.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love Fall.  Starbucks has made a fortune off of Fall.  They really don’t even need to exist in any other season.  I can make my own damn coffee, but what I cannot make is a nonfat pumpkin spice latte.  I’m sure I could, but it wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t have to stand in a line full of chicks in boots and coats asking for half a Splenda in their shit.

So there’s not much to this, I just wanted to share with you all my love of now, and the month to come.  Because hey, it’s Texas, and that’s all the Fall you get.  Then it turns into a weird and dreary wasteland full of filthy cars and sad, dry tree limbs.  But hey!  OCTOBER!!!  Here we are!!  Gotta go drink my tea with some milk and spices in it while I listen to Frank Sinatra and make a hat out of leaves.

GO FOR A WALK!  BUY SOME FLANNEL!!  EAT PIE ALL DAY!!

PIE ALL DAY ERRY DAY

Eating Like a Toddler, or How Not to Diet

I don’t care what anyone says.  I was done with trying to lose weight because it seemed like the harder I kept trying, the worse it got and the more I totally did NOT lose weight.  AND THEN, a friend had me read this book:

I EAT WHUT I WANT
OR, I EAT WHUT I WANT, SHUT UPP

 

So far, it is working like a champ in that I have stopped the following actions:

1) Obsessing every day about what the scale reads

2) Weighing at all pretty much, for that matter

3) Without weighing, my day cannot be ruined

4) Only eating certain foods.  There are no more red light foods.  Awesome.

5) Eating when I’m not really hungry

6) (and most importantly) GIVING THAT MUCH OF A SHIT WHAT EVERYONE THINKS

 

Yeah, I am eating apple pie for dinner.  Oh, and some hummus.  And maybe I had some breakfast sausage.  Whatever.  I feel fucking great, have lost 6 pounds, and actually am getting better at realizing what “hey ok ok ok you’re full stop eating” feels like.

 

My lunch today was mini-pancakes and some rice with broccoli.

 

I CAN’T WAIT FOR TOMORROW.

But the big news is this:  There’s just nothing fucking wrong with me, despite what society tells me, despite what people I know tell me, and despite what I tell me.  My doctor has confirmed that all my fancy blood work is STELLAR and MAGNIFICENT and lots of other words like that.

So suck it.  I’m technically overweight.  I jog around my kitchen.  I eat weird food combos.  And I AM ACTUALLY AWESOME JUST THE WAY I AM.

Life’s too short to be miserable about who or what you think you’re supposed to be.  Go out and be what you are, right this minute.  And only this minute.  Because the last one is over, and the next one, well, it will be along directly.

 

DINNER IS FOR PIE
DINNER IS FOR PIE