Here Are Some Things I Have Not Done During the Pandemic.

 “Be creative.”  I would argue that my creativity for handling a crushing mountain of fucked-upness is the extent to which my brain can go.  I have not written much, I have not started large projects, I have not built anything, I… I got plants.  That’s as creative as it’s getting around here. “Listen to music!”  Weirdly, you would think this would be a solace.  It … Continue reading Here Are Some Things I Have Not Done During the Pandemic.

Ten

There’s no one else I’d rather be with at the end of the world than you. I think it’s fair to say – even though plenty of sci-fi writers were able to nail it, I don’t think we ever thought it would go down like this.  And for what it’s worth, I do believe in the power of us.  I believe – no matter how … Continue reading Ten

Night Bird

So this is our new normal. At least for now.  For the time being.  For the foreseeable future.  I have never heard all the world so still in a city.  I have never been afraid of the night like I am right now, sitting in my own backyard at midnight on a Saturday.  Stripped of the comforting sounds of distant freeways, people chatting across the … Continue reading Night Bird

Six

I had my last drink six years ago yesterday.  What a weird feeling, weird thing to say.  It feels weird.  I wonder if that’s how it just…feels.  Like the further you get away from feeling like you need that drink, the more foreign even saying “I don’t drink” feels.  It’s not like it feels wrong to say, it is just a part of me, a … Continue reading Six

We Need Undoing

I’m on the Pacific side this flight, Looking out to the giant blueness, Reading Freeman’s Dictionary of the Undoing. I think about my wealth of privilege. I think about how I have started this decade by paying an artist to adorn my One Body with her rendition of my protector. I feel good about how this transaction benefits both our lives. About how it might … Continue reading We Need Undoing

Hubris

Yesterday I wanted to try a pizza place with my husband for dinner.  We ventured out into the slightly over-warm San Diego early evening, with the sun setting directly in front of me all the way there.  I was already nervous while driving, because I knew this joint was in a neighborhood that was notorious for having little to no parking.  It was a short … Continue reading Hubris