Resolutions 2012: F*ck It, I Choose Reality
Ok, sure, let’s talk about all the shit you THINK you might stop in 2012, or start in 2012, or that you would like to accomplish, whatever. We can talk about it. It’s not going to make it real or make those temptations stop riding in on the backs of beautiful imaginary talking Clydesdales. “Why, hellloo there, my child!” (note: Clydesdales have voices like God.) … Continue reading Resolutions 2012: F*ck It, I Choose Reality
White Russians: You Too Can Make This Delicious Shit
Crossposted and originally written for http://hexchromosome.tumblr.com/ Buy their rad, kick-ass activewear at http://www.hexchromosome.com/ On the surface, you would think that sippin’ on a White Russian goes great with fireplaces, Yule tidings, and about 4 feet of snow on the ground. My friends, I am here to tell you that a White Russian goes great with fucking EVERYTHING. Winter, Summer, Spring or Fall, it’s like a damn grown-ass milkshake, all for … Continue reading White Russians: You Too Can Make This Delicious Shit
Workplace Restroom Etiquette: You’re Doin’ It Wrong
Hey there, lady with whom I work. You are thoroughly disgusting. Just sayin’. It’s not your incessant humming while in the stall next to me. It’s not the endless fountain of noises that come out of your body. It’s not the fact that you want to strike up a conversation between straining. It’s not any of that. It’s actually ALL of it combined, because these nuggets … Continue reading Workplace Restroom Etiquette: You’re Doin’ It Wrong
Today is the Day I Might Kill the Receptionist
…was I so angry this morning upon walking in to see her horribly vapid face that I forgot the Sweet n’ Low in my coffee? And why the fuck is my boss not responding to my “Spicy Hot V8 Emergency” email request? Unbelievable. Look, I usually don’t act quite this indignant. I assure you, however, THIS LADY IS INSANE. She is a shrill ridiculous harpy … Continue reading Today is the Day I Might Kill the Receptionist
Pocketful of Venom 