Stay in school, kids.

TOP 10 THINGS THAT ARE SMARTER THAN I AM:

10.  *Some* resealable bags

9.  The Invisible UPS delivery guy

8.  My new car stereo

7.  Depending on the time, my Houdini wine bottle opener

6.  The “Premium Toppers” section at Sweet Tomatoes

5.  Genghis Grill’s new “pay at the table” system

4.  Genghis Grill’s new “write your name on this card and we’ll BRING YOUR FOOD TO YOU” system

3.  Cage-free egg containers

2.  Unfamiliar ATM machines

AND

1.  This piece of shit fancy bike pump