Top 10 Things I’ve Learned In One Day

10.  I don’t have any concept of what I look like in public any longer.

9.  You can totally fix a broken flip-flop with gum or paper and it will last at least up the driveway to the house.

8.  There is very weird, very brightly colored adult programming on at 5am on HBO.

7.  I can actually go a long time without food.  Don’t lecture.  I’m very busy.

6.  My vocal range is no longer like Teena Marie’s but IS like Boy George’s.

5.  A “rape van” and a “rap van” are essentially the same thing.

4.  Low-cal orange juice tastes like Sunny D.

3.  Pretty sure I talk to myself, out loud, ALL THE TIME.

2.  My sister is a damn lifesaver disguised as a sister.

1.  I do not tell my close friends and loved ones how just much I love them near enough.  Because they deserve to be told every second of every day.

NOT Teena Marie.

Carry on, and enjoy your weekend, suckas!!!

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3 thoughts on “Top 10 Things I’ve Learned In One Day

  1. Heather says:

    I love you too Shawn!

  2. lizremus says:

    oh wow! I thought I was the only one that thought the same about the low sugar orange juice too! I accidentally bought it one day because they made the container look exactly the same as the regular but I hate the taste of it. Regular OJ doesn’t have any extra sugar in it, it’s just pure squeezed oj so half sugar oj means it’s diluted oj. I hate it. But then again, I’m from Florida so I may be biased.

    • No, you are right. I tried to chug 8 oz of it down last night and with every swallow, could think nothing but how it was not at all as good as orange juice, and way more disappointing than Tang ever was. I am sad I bought it. Trickery!!!

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