Phrases that I have either said myself (mostly to only myself) or have heard in the last 24 hours:

1.   “Frozen Arbor Mist is like a lightly alcoholic Slurpee.”

2.  “Try not to impale yourself on your jeans.”

3.  “You do not have the time to be worrying about golden elephants.”

4.  ” I was too distracted by terrible yet amazing 90’s dance music to comment on your bowl.”

5.  “Why are you copying everyone about your cupcake trauma?”

6.  “My dislikes are EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR MASHED POTATOES AND VIGGO MORTENSEN”

7.  “I am, indeed, a snobby smart-aleck.”

8.  “It doesn’t matter – in every instance, there’s always porn on.”

9.  “‘Slut chomper.’  This book will be endless hours of entertainment.”

and

10.   “Well, there’s no redemption or honor in not drinking. ”

Happy Weekend, especially to my excellently talented friends, Leesie and Jeremy, on the eve of their wedding.   Long time coming, kids.  You are both insane.  I love you.