I Owe All My Success to Rick James and Teena Marie
If you don’t know who these people are, I weep for you. Because if you go listen to it right now, so much soul might give you a goddamn stroke of funk. No one can be inflicted with that much awesome all at once and survive, baby. LOOK AT THIS SHIT: Now, let me preface with a little background, and then you’ll get a clue … Continue reading I Owe All My Success to Rick James and Teena Marie
#Reverbbroads: Holy Jesus, Bread is Good With Everything
Today’s #reverbbroads prompt is: Share a recipe or meal that is a summertime favorite. via Amy Summertime favorite, wintertime favorite, for richer or poorer favorite – I would more than likely die a cold, sad death without bread. All kinds, any kind, all shapes and sizes. I LOVES BREAD. Because nothing says “summer” like your oven at 450°, I thought I would share my all-time favorite … Continue reading #Reverbbroads: Holy Jesus, Bread is Good With Everything
#Reverbbroads: Je Suis…Darlene
Yesterday’s #reverbbroads prompt was: With what fictional character (book, movie, TV, etc.) do you most identify? Why? via Kristen Well, nothing says classy FRONCH titles like Darlene Conner from Roseanne, y’all. Yeah, I was kind of a sarcastic asshole, much like the young Darlene. Blame my mom for making me do vocab flash cards from age 2, I mean – what the fuck did she expect? … Continue reading #Reverbbroads: Je Suis…Darlene
Wine Me, Dine Me…But Really, Start with Wine
Originally written and posted for this awesome site right here. Buy some tiny shiny hiney shorts. These girls know about booty. When contemplating what to serve gentleman callers, you can offer many refreshing choices – bougie mixed drinks, plebeian beers, or the ever-popular yet completely monotonous water. What that guy sitting on the couch waiting to fondle you really wants, besides your boobies, is a beverage that … Continue reading Wine Me, Dine Me…But Really, Start with Wine
Life Lessons: Alien Edition
Yeah, White Russians cause one to make lists. Here’s what I learned while on my second one while watching Alien for the 40th time. 5. Anyone called a “science officer” is most likely out to fuck you over. 4. Calling a computer “Mother” is creepy x 10000. 3. When 2 females are on a refinery space plant together, one is dumb and must die. 2. … Continue reading Life Lessons: Alien Edition
Let’s Review Some Stupid Products
I might not be McSweeney’s, but I can damn well talk about things that we all buy that are dumb, dumb, dumb. You know you have bought something, you get it home and either start reading the package or start using it and think “OMGWTFBBQ.” Clearly there are many industries in trouble, and cannot hire writers of even my mediocre caliber to write descriptions for … Continue reading Let’s Review Some Stupid Products
Swinging the Heartache: You’ll Dance to Anything
So my husband is a giant fan of Your Mom’s House, an awesome podcast by two comedians who are married to each other. He started texting me like a crazy person the other day and couldn’t wait for me to listen to Christina Pazsitzky’s Ode to Goth. I did, and I was touched by my dude’s ability to realize that other people sharing their SuperSadGothLove would … Continue reading Swinging the Heartache: You’ll Dance to Anything
Outwitted: A Cautionary Tale
Stay in school, kids. TOP 10 THINGS THAT ARE SMARTER THAN I AM: 10. *Some* resealable bags 9. The Invisible UPS delivery guy 8. My new car stereo 7. Depending on the time, my Houdini wine bottle opener 6. The “Premium Toppers” section at Sweet Tomatoes 5. Genghis Grill’s new “pay at the table” system 4. Genghis Grill’s new “write your name on … Continue reading Outwitted: A Cautionary Tale
Let Me Entertain You
A conversation between my husband and I the other night: Him: Did you just take a shower? Didn’t you take a shower 2 hours ago? Me: Yes. But it’s easier than washing my face in the sink. A conversation regarding watching television: Daisy: Have you watched Community or some other network show I can’t remember the name of right now? Me: Nah. I don’t … Continue reading Let Me Entertain You
Happy Anniversary, Nameless Faceless Killer!
It’s 7:05 am. My husband has just told me that for some inexplicable reason, our garage door is open. Not wide open, but like, person-crawling-in-size open, 3 feet off the ground. I bolt out of my Hunger Games-reading stupor and say quietly, “what the fuck,” because this is exactly the way I need to be woken up on a Monday. Unfortunately, said husband is … Continue reading Happy Anniversary, Nameless Faceless Killer!
Pocketful of Venom 
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